Universal Union

February 12, 2006 at 8:33 pm (Uncategorized)

I spent the day today with my best friend and her daughter at the Universal
Studios. We had a fab time. Little Allie and I got into it over going on one
of the rides. She didnt want to go and I did. So we made a deal and pinky
swore on it. If I went on Shrek; shed go on Van Helsing. So thats what we
did. You know youre in for it when you basically have to pinky swear a kid,
whos 7,  into doing something. But we had the best time. I adore my best
friend Lindsay and I adore her kids too. The last year or so we havent
really been connecting so much and she surprised me this morning and drove
an hour to my house to visit. So we made a day of it. It was so nice.

I read her cards at dinner and I realized something in the middle of it.
Everytime I read for someone, the coaching I give them always also somehow
applies in my life too. It made me think about how really connected we all
are and how we really are the same. It made me realize just exactly how the
business of helping others helps you to help yourself. Because in someway,
everything youre willing to give is a reflection of something you need.
Everything you need is a reflection of what you need to work on. Everything
you need to work on is just how close you are to everyone else and I
suddenly didnt feel the need to compare myself to anyone anymore. To chase
after anyone anymore. To hold on to anyone anymore. I suddenly couldnt have
been more grateful that my friend (as sad as she is and as hard as it is for
me to see her that way) wanted me to talk to about her current woes.
Truthfully it makes me look at myself and ask similar questions. And as I
was coaching her I tried especially hard to listen to my own advice. I think
it was my universes way of giving me an opportunity to change. I'd like to
change a few things. So with that said...I think Ill get right on that.

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I cant believe Im still up Im so tired.

February 12, 2006 at 11:52 am (Uncategorized)

Im going to do this if its the last thing I do. If I have to do it alone I
will. If I have to fall flat on my face I will. If I have to endure endless
ridicule Ill do that too. If I have to make myself like thin ice underneath
the worlds feet I will. If I have to forget everything that ever meant
anything to me in order to move forward I will fucking do it with ferver. In
fact, Ive already begun to. There will be no person, loved or otherwise who
will take up another moment of my time or energy. No circumstance renting
space. No soul mate who broke his agreement left bound to my floating heart
any longer. I am finished. I put it all behind me now. Im going after my
hearts desire. I accept no more the inadequacies of others at my own
expense. There is no reason for me to go without. No reason at all. I am
taking over my world.

There is no person/thing on this planet that can stop me.

Goodbye past and all thats contained within it. It is finished. Im a new me.
Hello future.

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